I thought i wanted him. I was praying hard to God to have him. But now i realised he continuously hurt me verbally with negativities and rudeness. I remembered 5years ago when he used to make fun of me for being unemployed and now the universe had turned the situation around. Nevertheless, i believe we all should encourage and motivate others. If we have nothing nice to say then better to say nothing. Instead of hurting others. The more we hurt others, the least peaceful we feel.
I miss him but i doubt he felt the same way. He continuously hurt my feelings. I pray to god to give him some comfort and to have faith in me. And also that he stops exploring. Maybe he doesnt understand that my commitment to work can be translated as my obligations to my family, most importantly my parents.
It was a tiring week. Managed to get some rest today and spent time with my dad. The crazy work load and stress will continue until i dont know when.
I am grateful for everything. It has been a wonderful year. I am glad that I could improve myself and hope to be a much better person. Please protect me from the evil.
I didnt know how to pen this here. Buti agreed to be part of him when he asked me unexpectedly. I thought he may have changed or he may want to nurture the relationship. I was wrong. He still brought up and questioned my past. He questioned my work and commitment. I had to clarify and justify myself to him every workdays. I am getting emotionally exhausted. I wish he could be more supportive and motivate me to be better at work and as an individual. The way he speaks to me get worst. He was plainly rude and i have never been in such relationship in my life. I am hurt by his actions and words when he’s mad.