I will be 37 in 2 months. Single. No relationship. No career. Still struggling to break the glass ceiling, despite working hard. No network. Nothing branded. Same old car. Same old place where I grew up.
I am an overseas graduate. A scholar. But i pretty much fail in life. Stagnant career. Still searching for window of opportunities. I never pictured my 37 year old life to be mediocre. I always imagined i would have settled down with kids and high flying career. Wearing nice clothes and carrying my dream handbag. Classy stylish elegant. A mentor to others. I thought. Or i wished. But hard work brings you nowhere.
You must learn to fake happiness, politeness and confidence. I am pretty much done trying and pleasing. I have no love. I crave to be loved. To be desired. To be a pride to my partner. I am tired.
I tried to be nice. Kind. Friendly. Low profile. But these are the wrong values in life to adopt in order to be successful.
Noone truly cares how i feel. Whether i am sad. Lonely. Disappointed. Whether i need someone. Companionship. Relationship.
People are just using others. Especially if they noticed how keen you are to be recognised. Acknowledged. To be part of a tribe or clique.
In the end you need to set your boundaries and limits. Whether it is worth the sacrifice. The waiting. The patience. The explanation. The cancellations. Sometimes you must decide to move alone.
Life is lonely. Bias. Ruthless. Cruel.