Three is too much

Adding 3 more failed proposals in my list. One is hard enough to accept and today 3. All of them to the same entities. Like what did we do wrong? What was wrong? How could we do better? Is it the methodology or the pricing?

With that i asked my doctor if i could increase from 1 to 2 pink xanax. He gave his consent with a condition not to prolong. I don’t know what is the problem, i just couldn’t sleep. Or is it just the way i deal with things. Ignoring the issues as much as I can. Or just avoiding the pain of thinking through it. Pretending like it never or nothing ever happened.

And what is the lesson? I mean with the proposal? I am sad on how conventional we are handling all these. Urgh there goes my potential projects, potential skill sets down the drain. Farewell


Pink tab

I told my doc that i have difficulties to sleep. 2 weeks. So he decided to prescribe me the pink xanax.

Yesterday’s session was generally about relationship and intimacy. We spoke about my engagement and my last relationship. I felt a bit uncomfortable and lazy to talk about it. Maybe cause I am avoiding the thoughts. πŸ˜”

What a mess!

I am still in daze and digesting the conversation from this morning. I didn’t know that a simple question led to a breaking radical discovery.

So… He has an 8 month old baby. This means all these while, his wife was pregnant. I couldn’t believe myself on what I have done. Again i shall reiterate and reamphasize that there is nothing special and nothing flirty. But daily conversations may not be favorable to some women.

I prayed earlier to god to give me the strength to walk away from this and never look back. Do pray the same for me too.

The waiting

Sigh…there are not many new opportunities out there currently. Attended one interview. No news. No news  could be good news.

I just want to be surrounded by like-minded people, be where I belong and enjoy my work.

hoping patiently for interview called within these 2 weeka 😊

A happy (belated) public holiday

I feel great. I spent time with great company yesterday. A married couple, the space guy, his p.a who is also a former colleague of mine and myself.

I was the last to arrive at the crib. But everyone was welcoming and open. It feels like family. There were pizzas, wines, bacardi, carbonated drinks, teas and plenty of junk foods. Carbo-loaded sugar-high calories-indulging kind of evening.

We chatted non-stop for more than 6 hours. From politics we shifted to discussing about tinder, moved on to the economy, backed to relationship stuf, some scenario analyses (hypothetically), a little ad on netflix and pomoting to the gang on the latest hit series. What else?? Oh not forgetting criminals – rape case and prostitution.

To sum up:

  1. Is it true that we are heading to the deep recession in 2018? While some of us think that the economy is recovering but apparently we have totally forgotten about the 10 years vicious cycle.
  2. Would you girls agree to be with a rich high profile man for the sake of having a glamorous life? But to compromise freedom and morality.
  3. Why even the funnest (is there such word? Nevermind) girl feels threaten whenever their partner or boyfriend or fiancee or husband is out having some drink? Is it the drinking or the person they go out with that we should be worry about?
  4. Why can’t a married man / woman being on Tinder? Perception as Tinder is highly regarded as dating apps? However, not everyone on Tinder wants a date. Some are just getting to know others as part of their life experience. Just coffee and chat.
  5. 9 rated babes – are they good in bed?
  6. What is you immediate reaction when you texted someone on Whatsapp, then it shows blue ticks and the person is online but he/she didn’t immediately respond to your message?
  7. If you see something that you really like, would you turn into an impulse buyer or rather to take a step back and analyse the needs for some time?
  8. Would you prefer to be high on booze or stoned?
  9. Do alpha males really extinct? And do they even exist? Why we hardly find them in the new male generation? What went wrong? We concluded we shouldn’t worry on how our country being managed as currently it is being steered by a group of alpha malesπŸ˜ƒ ( glad to know )
  10. Why is it divorce among the Malay community always end up too sour? Is it because we sacrifice too much in it? Believing that it will never end?
  11. Why do we feel disgusted seeing a man making out with another man, whilst acceptable in the case of women? 

An eye-opening gathering. Listening to contradicting views and explanations. Afterall perception plays a huge role in defining most of the above. Just my 2 cents opinion.

Happy (belated) public holiday!😘