A note of depression

I have been very depressed since early this year. Worn out with life and surroundings. If this prolongs further, i could break. Its an empty life. Noone to talk too. Noone to refer for comfort. Very very very extremely painful. 

As much as i dont feel like doing nothing and sleep all day long, i have to perform my obligations. I wish i was born rich that i could just do whatever i want the way i want.

Well who says life was going to be fair and simple. But it gets more complicated and so confusing. Human nature not to be satisfied with what we have. To always be hungry like a hunter.

I thought i could be in a war. The modern version. War against wants and needs. War to attain happiness. 

My family is a huge disappointment. Nothing satisfies them. It has always been about money and complaints and rants and nags. Negativities. Too much indeed. Too much that it drains away your spirit and motivation. Everything seems wrong. No celebrations or a simple note of congratulations to my promotion. Instead asking about salary. How materially and monetary driven?

They forgot that i am a girl. I want to have family too and not to carry the responsibilities being a parent to my brother while they enjoy their newly married life. Not that new but still. 

Why bring us to this world in the first place? Dont blame me for supporting abortion. It does not only apply to non marital couple but too married couple as well. Couples who failed to perform their duty as parents. Who thinks that their commitments ended the moment their kids have grown up and worked and earned a living. This is absolutely a wrong mind-set. Corrupted. 

Yes as a children we have our responsibilities and to be independent from our parents. but that does not mean we want to be treated differently. 

People changed. And it shall not exclude our own family. They are human too. Greed has conquered us. That we become calculative towards our own blood. Trashed out harshness. I hope my parents would have aborted me since i have no other choices but to fight for my survivorship. But for how long?

I am just too tired and sick. Unfortunaly nobody notices because we are too occupied with our own interests.


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