I hope i could leave captain b behind and never to mention him here. I have been rationalising and reminding myself in the last few days on what he had done. Things he said.
Not that i wanted to be in the past. Just to continuously eliminate any forms of feelings which may be developed. I remembered when he came back last 2 years and told me at the very last minute before he left that things arent working out between us. And again he came back early last repeating it. Then he came back middle of the year confessing that he was in a relationship. Next a text message somewhere end of last year that he loves me but not the kind of love people would develop a relationship with. And so he asked me last friday, what had he done to me.
I know for sure that he didnt want to commit to someone who does not belong to influential background as to compare to his exes.
There are people who left you for good. But dealing with a recurring pattern can be extremely frustrating. He asked where was i when he needed someone. I wonder what should i do if he was already in a relationship. So i moved on and do my own things, exploring new stuff, build new network and friendships, managing my emotions, repairing my relationship with my parents and reinstalling my faith.