I met a girlfriend of mine yesterday. I knew it must be something as she gave me a heads up on our catching up session.
As we met over coffee, we began to dive into her issues. The limbo of being emotionally attached to a married man. My friend wasn’t the kind of typical ordinary women. Indeed very well-educated, smart and intelligent. Coming from a quite decent family. But she wanted more in life and she was lured by this particular man, whom she met during her postgraduate study.
The friendship between this Adam and Eve started more than a year ago. I wouldn’t define what they have between them as friendship nor relationship. It appears to me like an affair. To begin with, one fine day, Adam suggested vacation to one of the neighboring country after being friends for about 3 months. Eve initially was quite hesitant to agree to the invitation until the man she was in love with at that time failed her. Never in her life she imagined to be the other woman. But as she drastically agreed to the vacation, she became ONE.
As they enter into the transaction, Eve never thought that it would lead to more than that until she realised that she has been thinking and wandering of Adam, even when she was seeing another person. Apparently, she confronted Adam a few days ago by telling him somebody was getting hurt from this. He asked whom and she replied his wife and kid. He told her that the kid doesn’t know about it, how could he gets hurt. Well, she said, if the mom knows about it, it would certainly affected the kid. And he seems to be avoiding the topic. They neither come to a mutual conclusion nor understanding. It was left hanging like the Garden of Babylon.
As I monitored her expression, I noticed she was very much calm. Perhaps it was something that she had anticipated. Assumptions running wild in my head. Was it the money that she was after? I highly doubt it since she was seeing one of the influential corporate figure followed by the grandson of the head of the land far far away in Borneo. Could it be love? the four letter words that definitely f**k her brain. The desire to love and to be loved? the fact that she tolerated with all the cancellations and empty promises, which she never did before. What I could assured here, she likes this guy more than any of the men she met before. Indeed she likes him more than like. The heart wants what it wants. And her heart wants nonsense.
What I learned here, as you get involved with a married man, at the end of the day, they move on. They have got nothing to lose. They go back to their cozy warm house. Laughing and sharing their lives with their wife and children.
So what happened to the other woman? She was left in the cold dark room. Status-less. Not putting any hopes. Not knowing what to do. And he promised to catch up for coffee, which he never did.
P/S: Someone told me once, being with a single man is like going for a dive. Being with a married man is similar to snorkeling. You don’t get hurt that much. It’s a mutually agreed transaction with pre-identified risks.